The Curious Case of Super Bowl LIII and its Awfulness


The Super Bowl is a HUGE deal. Sports fanatics tune in every year to watch who will be proclaimed the kings of the season. With nine of the ten most watched broadcasts in US history being Super Bowls, that’s A TON of fanatics the NFL needs to impress… and it’s no secret that this year fell short. You may think this is because the Patriots won again, and you’d be partially right. However, that’s not the deflated ball in the basket we’re going to discuss.

To be blunt, Super Bowl LIII was an absolute snooze fest. The game play and the halftime show were both absolute disappointments. There’s no sugarcoating this one, ladies and gentlemen. Let’s get into it:


This was the lowest scoring Super Bowl in NFL history. Super Bowl LIII had a combined score of 16, beating (or losing to?) Super Bowl VII’s record of 21. Thanks to a subpar offense and mediocre defense from both teams, the game resulted in a disappointing game of “back-and-forth” with the kickers shining as the true MVPs. If someone were to have slept through the first half, they would not have missed anything, since nothing of substance happened. But then they would have woken up for the Halftime Show...

Maroon 5, Travis Scott, and Big Boi collectively gave the most underwhelming Super Bowl Halftime Show performance of all time. Aside from boring production that focused too much on the minutiae that doesn’t matter, Maroon 5 set themselves up for failure from the moment they made a Spongebob reference in their pre-show hype video. At that point, everyone expected them to play Sweet Victory, the iconic song that Spongebob and the gang performed at the Bubble Bowl, causing Squilliam Fancyson to enter cardiac arrest (as weird as that sounds, every millenial knows exactly what I’m talking about.) The extent of Spongebob’s involvement came when introducing Travis Scott’s Sicko Mode, causing for only a chuckle-worthy, “huh, that’s sort of cool” moment. According to the Twittersphere, any people were upset and felt “robbed” over the song’s absence from the show.

Since we mentioned Big Boi at the beginning of this paragraph, something must be written about him to express his involvement in the show; that “something” is this sentence, which will end now.

This season wasn’t great overall, and it’s not surprising that the Super Bowl ended up this way. Let’s just hope Super Bowl LIV can *LIV* up to a high standard here in the 305 (LIV Nightclub is going to take advantage of this, mark our words.)